Why is it that I always have to learn everything the hard way? The sailboat was a prime example; the boom had to hit me in the head several times before I learned how high it was. Our first sailboat had a tiller, and poor old Sweetie had to hang on for dear life at least twice because I turned to starboard when I thought I was going to port. The throttle and shifters on the trawler are situated side by side instead of one set of controls on either side. The smashed teak swim platform (above) was a $5,000 lesson we learned within one month of buying the boat. Sweetie thought he had his hands on the shifter when actually he had hold of the throttle. Oh, well"¦ at least I didn't try to push the piling away with my foot.

Boating is a series of lessons learned the hard way, but the end result is always worth the investment. My dear friend Joe Tynik learned that if he wanted his wife go sailing with him, he would have to enclose the cockpit so she could stay warm and dry. Jim Seward learned that he can't leave his generator running while at anchor, jump in the dinghy and leave his boat all day and still keep his friends who were left behind to listen to the darned thing grinding away. I now know to turn the knife block on its side, otherwise it falls to the floor with a crash that sounds like WW III. The Divine Esther learned that unless she remembers that she hasn't closed the hatch to the engine room, she will have to ice her face for the next two weeks. Cabo Bob learned that he shouldn't remove the shackle from the anchor until it is safely stowed onboard.

Anybody who uses their boat will have embarrassing lessons to learn - the hard way. The hardest lesson of all is that not using a boat will result in expensive repairs. Cooling water condenses in the engine block, resulting in frozen cylinders, seacocks will eventually become totally useless if not moved occasionally, electronic devices will corrode due to accumulated moisture if not heated up with regular use, and interior cushions will get musty and smelly if you don't open the companionway. If you have to pay anyway, you may as well spend time on the water!

For our first trip to the Delta, many years ago, Sweetie made a rope boarding ladder from nylon line and PVC pipes. I love to swim and needed a way to get in and out of the water. He measured, cut, drilled and created a beautiful rope boarding ladder that even had several steps that hung down into the water. The first time I tried to use it, the last two steps swung under the hull, leaving me stranded in a horizontal position and calling for help. I was finally able to board the boat by doing the "˜fat seal flop' into the rubber dinghy and then using the above-the-water rungs to hoist my big self into the cockpit. On our next trip to the Delta, we had a rigid boarding ladder. Live and learn"¦