Imagine this if you will: 250 distinguished yachtsman dressed up like Thurston Howell the 3rd, eagerly awaiting the final results of the 'Doing Everything In A Perfectly Legal Way But Still Managing To Confuse The Competitors' award. That's what happened at the annual Moosehead Awards Ceremony in New York on Oct. 28, 2007. I think that if my husband arrived home with a Moosehead tucked under his arm, we would have to sit down and have that "special talk," regardless of how great the honor.
Believe it or not, there is an association called The International Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Racing Yachtsmen (I.S.P.C.R.Y.). It was created in 1941 by a trio of whacky racers who wanted to commemorate, and celebrate, the "˜Oh S--t!' side of sail boat racing. The I.S.P.C.R.Y is made up of various race committees near and around Long Island Sound. The coveted Moosehead Award is the pinnacle of their achievement.
Each year, on the designated day, the members of the I.S.P.C.R.Y. (all 250 of them) arrive at the host club in their respective committee boats dressed in full yachting regalia - blue blazers, white slacks, natty yachting caps - the whole nine yards - to attend the annual Moosehead Award ceremony. Just in case they might be inadvertently overlooked, every committee boat fires their starting cannons to announce their arrival.
The coveted Moosehead Supreme Award for the 'Biggest Overall Screw-Up' and the 'Boot-In-The-Butt Award' for the runner-up to the Moosehead are presented to sailors who take their racing seriously, but their awards with tongue in cheek.
Not being a racer myself, or in any way inclined to speed through life, I don't quite understand the perceived honor of receiving the Golden Mike award for 'The Biggest Mess Up Over the Radio.' It's bad enough that everybody has heard you the first time, let alone be commemorated for all time with a trophy.
I'm thinking too that it might be a good idea to start our own version of the Moosehead Award here on San Francisco Bay. We could have the 'Broken Mast Award' for the sailor who didn't reef early enough in the day. Or, how about the 'Honking Hulk Award' for the guy who didn't see the freighter coming down on him? Then there is always the 'Oops, I Didn't Mean To Jibe Yet Award.' Oh wait, I think that award may already be taken but it's called the 'Haworth Maneuver Award.' The 'I Didn't Mean To Hit Blossom Rock Award' would have to have at least a dozen trophies, maybe more. And then there is always the popular 'How In The Hell Do I Tie Up To These Damn Mooring Balls At Angel Island Award.' That one should have a BIG trophy. The 'I Only Take The Boat Out On Opening Day And The 4th of July' would be presented posthumously because these people deserve to suffer and die. And finally, there's the 'I Sailed Through The Fleet Week Crowd During The Blue Angels Air Show Award.' This one should be mandatorily posthumous.
The host club for this year's I.S.P.C.R.Y. award ceremony was the elegant Belle Haven Yacht Club in Greenwich, CT. We called to find out who actually went home with the 'Screw-Up That Wasn't Big Enough For a Moosehead, But Still Worthy Of Mention' award, but would you believe they wouldn't tell us? No, really. Anyway, I'll bet the boater's wife was grateful that he came in second....
